Visit to the Ames Veterans Memorial

As most of my friends know, I'm a military veteran--ten years of service in the U.S. Navy, including deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. I've been out of the service for two years now, and I have not missed it, for the most part. But this past week I went to the bank to deposit a paycheck, and I decided the time had come to pay a visit to the Ames Veterans Memorial.

A word on that. I've been surprised at how few people know about the memorial. It's located on the northeast corner of 6th Street and Grand Avenue, and although people know that something is there, it's of interest to me that not many people know that it is a memorial to honor those who have served in the Armed Forces in the defense of this country. It saddens me, a little, that more people have not taken the time to visit it.

I made my visit on an appropriately gray day. It was chilly, but just enough to quicken the senses; it definitely set the right tone. The memorial consists (in part) of a tall gilded face with the following quote from George Washington etched into the face: "To be prepared for war is one of the most effectual means of preserving the peace." There is a star laid into the concrete before the face; each of the five points represents a branch of the Armed Forces, and there are six sandstone blocks positioned on the perimeter of the star, one block for each of the services, and one for the Merchant Marine. Each block has the name of a service branch etched into it. Bricks on the sidewalks leading up to the memorial are engraved with the names and services of servicement. When I visited, I walked slowly up the brick walkways, reading the names of the men and women who had served before me, in every conflict from World War II to the first Gulf War. I took in the quote, walked slowly around the perimeter of the star, and finally settled myself on the block representing the Navy, and sat in contemplation for a while.

On my visit, I was struck by how profoundly I miss the Navy. Don't misunderstand--I don't have any plans to re-enlist, not even in the reserve. But I'm proud of my service. I felt that I was doing honorable work, contributing to my country, and preserving the freedoms of her citizens. It gave me a great deal of pride to put on the uniform of my country every day. Until that moment I don't think I really understood how very much I missed that sense of satisfaction.

I was struck, as I sat there, by my need to reconcile myself with two facts: 1) that I served my country honorably, and 2) that that service has come to an end. I don't think that I have learned how to be content with those two facts. I think that is why I habitually wear Navy apparel, why I refuse to scrape my (expired) base stickers off of my car windshield, why I identify myself as a former sailor whenever I meet someone new. Part of me thinks that if I let go of those things I will lose my connection to a part of my life that I value very much. But I'm not a sailor anymore. I need to learn to bear the title "veteran" with the same kind of pride that I associated with the title "sailor." I need to be content that I did my duty, when my country asked, and that I have passed the responsibility to a new generation of servicemen. I need to become proud of what I am: a veteran.